July 18th, 2012
My body needs and wants movement. At 10pm at night, I walk out the door. There is a dusky light to the sky, though stars are beginning to show more strongly. Some twinkle red near the horizon.
Without fully intending to, I walk to the Sacred Grove, stepping on the path and entering the forest without flashlight. It is dark moon, and without my flashlight, I must trust my feet.
I greet Adorned Ma more through sensing her than by seeing her. The Grove is growing much darker now. I feel into my pouch and pull out a feather-offering, struggling for a minute or so as I grope to find the right placement for it. I give thanks and find my way to Guardian, aware I have trompled some plants – sad I am unable to be less clumsy in the dark.
Lighting smoke herbs as greeting, I wait a few moments, searching my heart for a question...
"Is there anything I can do to be of service to you?" As the words tumble out I feel my nervous anticipation. What if Ma asks something of me that I cannot follow through with, or that I fail to complete properly, and I lose her trust?
"Visit monthly," is her simple reply. I am relieved. "Are you sure?" I ask, now feeling like I am not offering enough.
"Yes, visit monthly. At least monthly." I think for a moment – knowing how intense the teaching season is for me, monthly is actually quite reasonable, and may even challenge me at times.
"What if I am traveling more than a month?" Though it is not likely, it may happen...
"Then you must connect remotely and make a ceremonial offering."
"Is there anything else?"
"Offerings, especially sage and tobacco. And burn sage, as in the beginning. Bring these offerings often, and other gifts as well. Visit me often. It generates energy – it makes this place a sacred portal. It becomes a connecting place – full of vitality."
I ask once again, and she replies, "Come back by Sunday, and be prepared to make more commitments to me – to learn how you may be of service."
As I walk away from the Grove, the sky is blue-black-dark, and the stars are full and bright. I have a thought to put some sage and other plants into a bundle under my pillow for healing and dreaming.
July 22nd, 2012
Sunday arrives, and I am only now arriving at the Sacred Grove. Ma somehow knew it would be a challenge for me to create the dedicated time to come here... This was a good exercise on being intentional and keeping my promise.
I tuck the stem of another feather between the entwined vines of the Adorned One. Fragrant sage and tobacco are placed at the base of Guardian and Dark Ma. I pull out two matches, strike them and burn a small amount of sage, in honour of Ma’s request from the other night.
"I am here to make commitments. I have promised to be here at least once a month, and bring tobacco and sage. What else can I offer?"
"Offer us your heart."
"What would that look like?" I ask.
"Who would you be if you offered us your heart?"
Suddenly I hear a snort nearby. A deer has spotted me. I look over my shoulder to her. She pauses, and snorts a few more times, not quite sure what to make of my presence as she paces and considers her path.
I let Ma's question settle within me... Who would I be if I offered my heart fully to the teachings?
"Clear, or becoming clear," I say to her. "Dedicated with my body and health to maintaining that clarity."
"You've answered your own question then," she replies.
"What about the potency of the teachings? Would they change?” I am still thinking about what would happen if I were able to align myself completely to and within the teachings...
"They would match your own dedication in potency," she replies.
Deer has moved to a nearby knoll – eating fallen arbutus leaves. She seems to have settled and made peace with my presence.
"What else can I offer you?"
"Time," she says simply.
"Time to be with you? Time to be with myself?"
"Time to be in the teachings. Time to be with the plants," she replies.
I reflect on my teaching schedule, which occupies much of my time September through May.
"Carry me in your heart," she says, in response to my thoughts. "Immerse yourself fully and constantly in the teachings. And create time – dedicated (not squeezed) time to be with me and the teachings."
Deer quietly moves somewhere deeper in the forest. Raven arrives where deer has left, with his myriad of calls... I feel a little daunted by her request.
Avoiding directly responding to her, I ask, "How else may I serve you? Offerings? Things to do?"
"Listen with your heart – each time you come here, my needs may be different. Listen with your heart for what to bring before embarking on your walk."
There was a pause, and then she said, "I like ceremony."
Another pause.
"The rituals you do upon greeting us – bringing feathers or found-gifts, sage and tobacco, greeting us by name and with respect – these are gifts of joy and reverence. What you gift us are the feelings in your heart – these rituals are not something to be done as rote duty. The physical objects and actions are just a vehicle for the feelings that accompany them. These feelings are the true gift – the ceremony and objects are significant parts of the gifting, but not the essence of the gift."
I bow in humble gratitude for her teaching, and after a few quiet moments, turn to Main Ma offering her sage and tobacco at her base, and also where she hugs the tree with her body – acutely aware of how I feel as I do this.
"How do I be of service to you?" The wind begins to blow. I look at her – small red-black ants use her as a roadway to travel up and down the tree. I suddenly have a sense of something profound – both very big and very small. Ma is a portal of communication... She is communicator with the trees and plants and winds and this expands so very large, into the forest and well-beyond... And within this expansion, she adds her song to the great music of all that is being spoken through the whole of Gaia carried along the winds.
And simultaneously, she is a great roadway or pathway of movement and communication for the tiny forest inhabitants (in this case, the ants). She acts as a solid connection from up to down for them, connecting them on this great tree of life that they inhabit, in the greater cosmos of their world – this grove and forest.
The juxtaposition of the two perspectives seems very significant.
"Listen,” she says. “Spend spacious time being relaxed and just listening to our people. All of the forest, winds, plants, ants. And speak on our behalf. You are one of us – how would you represent us? Who would you be? (Her words shift into a directive) You are one of us – represent us."
As the words penetrate my heart, I feel the enormity of that responsibility and commitment. Responding to this, she says, "I know. Now go, and take that into your heart fully."
"Is there anything else I can do?"
"Visit us again sometime this week – if not once by Friday, then twice by Sunday."
I part from Main Ma, and stop to give respects to Guardian. Without words, she indicates she wants our parting to be ceremonial. I raise my fingers to touch my heart and then my forehead, and then I reach down to touch her base (feet) as a gesture of humility and service. I feel her satisfaction.
"Dedication," she says. "Remember and enact ritual and dedication."
My body needs and wants movement. At 10pm at night, I walk out the door. There is a dusky light to the sky, though stars are beginning to show more strongly. Some twinkle red near the horizon.
Without fully intending to, I walk to the Sacred Grove, stepping on the path and entering the forest without flashlight. It is dark moon, and without my flashlight, I must trust my feet.
I greet Adorned Ma more through sensing her than by seeing her. The Grove is growing much darker now. I feel into my pouch and pull out a feather-offering, struggling for a minute or so as I grope to find the right placement for it. I give thanks and find my way to Guardian, aware I have trompled some plants – sad I am unable to be less clumsy in the dark.
Lighting smoke herbs as greeting, I wait a few moments, searching my heart for a question...
"Is there anything I can do to be of service to you?" As the words tumble out I feel my nervous anticipation. What if Ma asks something of me that I cannot follow through with, or that I fail to complete properly, and I lose her trust?
"Visit monthly," is her simple reply. I am relieved. "Are you sure?" I ask, now feeling like I am not offering enough.
"Yes, visit monthly. At least monthly." I think for a moment – knowing how intense the teaching season is for me, monthly is actually quite reasonable, and may even challenge me at times.
"What if I am traveling more than a month?" Though it is not likely, it may happen...
"Then you must connect remotely and make a ceremonial offering."
"Is there anything else?"
"Offerings, especially sage and tobacco. And burn sage, as in the beginning. Bring these offerings often, and other gifts as well. Visit me often. It generates energy – it makes this place a sacred portal. It becomes a connecting place – full of vitality."
I ask once again, and she replies, "Come back by Sunday, and be prepared to make more commitments to me – to learn how you may be of service."
As I walk away from the Grove, the sky is blue-black-dark, and the stars are full and bright. I have a thought to put some sage and other plants into a bundle under my pillow for healing and dreaming.
July 22nd, 2012
Sunday arrives, and I am only now arriving at the Sacred Grove. Ma somehow knew it would be a challenge for me to create the dedicated time to come here... This was a good exercise on being intentional and keeping my promise.
I tuck the stem of another feather between the entwined vines of the Adorned One. Fragrant sage and tobacco are placed at the base of Guardian and Dark Ma. I pull out two matches, strike them and burn a small amount of sage, in honour of Ma’s request from the other night.
"I am here to make commitments. I have promised to be here at least once a month, and bring tobacco and sage. What else can I offer?"
"Offer us your heart."
"What would that look like?" I ask.
"Who would you be if you offered us your heart?"
Suddenly I hear a snort nearby. A deer has spotted me. I look over my shoulder to her. She pauses, and snorts a few more times, not quite sure what to make of my presence as she paces and considers her path.
I let Ma's question settle within me... Who would I be if I offered my heart fully to the teachings?
"Clear, or becoming clear," I say to her. "Dedicated with my body and health to maintaining that clarity."
"You've answered your own question then," she replies.
"What about the potency of the teachings? Would they change?” I am still thinking about what would happen if I were able to align myself completely to and within the teachings...
"They would match your own dedication in potency," she replies.
Deer has moved to a nearby knoll – eating fallen arbutus leaves. She seems to have settled and made peace with my presence.
"What else can I offer you?"
"Time," she says simply.
"Time to be with you? Time to be with myself?"
"Time to be in the teachings. Time to be with the plants," she replies.
I reflect on my teaching schedule, which occupies much of my time September through May.
"Carry me in your heart," she says, in response to my thoughts. "Immerse yourself fully and constantly in the teachings. And create time – dedicated (not squeezed) time to be with me and the teachings."
Deer quietly moves somewhere deeper in the forest. Raven arrives where deer has left, with his myriad of calls... I feel a little daunted by her request.
Avoiding directly responding to her, I ask, "How else may I serve you? Offerings? Things to do?"
"Listen with your heart – each time you come here, my needs may be different. Listen with your heart for what to bring before embarking on your walk."
There was a pause, and then she said, "I like ceremony."
Another pause.
"The rituals you do upon greeting us – bringing feathers or found-gifts, sage and tobacco, greeting us by name and with respect – these are gifts of joy and reverence. What you gift us are the feelings in your heart – these rituals are not something to be done as rote duty. The physical objects and actions are just a vehicle for the feelings that accompany them. These feelings are the true gift – the ceremony and objects are significant parts of the gifting, but not the essence of the gift."
I bow in humble gratitude for her teaching, and after a few quiet moments, turn to Main Ma offering her sage and tobacco at her base, and also where she hugs the tree with her body – acutely aware of how I feel as I do this.
"How do I be of service to you?" The wind begins to blow. I look at her – small red-black ants use her as a roadway to travel up and down the tree. I suddenly have a sense of something profound – both very big and very small. Ma is a portal of communication... She is communicator with the trees and plants and winds and this expands so very large, into the forest and well-beyond... And within this expansion, she adds her song to the great music of all that is being spoken through the whole of Gaia carried along the winds.
And simultaneously, she is a great roadway or pathway of movement and communication for the tiny forest inhabitants (in this case, the ants). She acts as a solid connection from up to down for them, connecting them on this great tree of life that they inhabit, in the greater cosmos of their world – this grove and forest.
The juxtaposition of the two perspectives seems very significant.
"Listen,” she says. “Spend spacious time being relaxed and just listening to our people. All of the forest, winds, plants, ants. And speak on our behalf. You are one of us – how would you represent us? Who would you be? (Her words shift into a directive) You are one of us – represent us."
As the words penetrate my heart, I feel the enormity of that responsibility and commitment. Responding to this, she says, "I know. Now go, and take that into your heart fully."
"Is there anything else I can do?"
"Visit us again sometime this week – if not once by Friday, then twice by Sunday."
I part from Main Ma, and stop to give respects to Guardian. Without words, she indicates she wants our parting to be ceremonial. I raise my fingers to touch my heart and then my forehead, and then I reach down to touch her base (feet) as a gesture of humility and service. I feel her satisfaction.
"Dedication," she says. "Remember and enact ritual and dedication."
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