April 12, 2017
I have begun to walk and explore the land. We do not yet know where we will put up the yurt, after we have finished repairs. I have walked to the edge of the escarpments -- the view of the neighbouring mountain is so peaceful. I do not know if I will be able to find a path down into the valley between this escarpment and the mountain -- I will try when I can to find one. The two forested areas are so distinctly different. One forest is on a slope -- the trees are so tall! It is the forest through which we walk to get to the open peat-bog fields full of canary reed grass that will eventually become our gardens.
The second forest is on the far edge of the property -- it is rarely walked, if ever, by any of the inhabitants of the land. The bases of the trees are so large, and the walk into the heart of this forest takes one through patches of skunk cabbage, moss and forest-edge plants. As I walk this second forest I feel transported into a protected mystical place with low-hanging branches, owls and owl pellets, gnarled roots and fallen logs. This, I decide, is where I will take apprentices and clients.
April 15, 2017
I create a small medicine bundle, and tie it to a tree in the back forest of this new place, near the spot I have chosen for my apprentice/ client work. In it I have written:
This great leaning tree has a small pool of water on one side of its base. It is as if the tree is leaning over and gazing at itself. Reflection Tree.
I speak my prayer aloud to Reflection Tree.
He replies: Give and be given to... Bring your energy to the land. Make offerings to us. Honour the land, and it will give back to you. Earn the Teachings.
April 21, 2017
We have been living in a tiny cabin, 10x14 feet in size, on the property. One room. No kitchen -- just a makeshift space where we cook. A cord strung from the barn for electricity. We eat sitting on the bed. We are waiting for the rains to slow or end so that we can begin repair work on the yurt. For now, this is home. Used to homesteading and living off-grid, this is not much different than the 6 months we spent living in a tent when we were learning to build the foundation and floor for the yurt 2 years ago.
I visit the large tree outside the cabin at night. The peeper frogs are almost deafeningly loud. My husband and I have been butting heads -- it has been an incredibly challenging few months, and we have landed into a new space that requires intensive cleaning (the land has been neglected for several years), and we are not in our own home. It is not surprising we are edgy right now.
Tree says, There will never be "win" with him. I felt sadness upon hearing this. Because there will never be a "win", you need to just focus on being happy -- it is the key to your well-being. Why do you try to squish yourself into some perceived box? Do what makes you happy -- relax, be at peace -- and watch what happens to your work, your well-being, your relationship...
May 2, 2017
I am speaking with the Tree near the cabin... Two owls are shrieking at one another in the background, bats are flying and making their mating call, the trees of the forest tower all around me in the darkness of the night.
I ask Tree, "What of my apprenticeship here in this new place?"
Tree replies: Let go of all you know, and all you don't know. Empty of it all. Make your roots, make your home, the Teachings will come. Spend time with the land and trees here. Learn from the forest and you will understand why you are here. Empty your heart.
I felt an unburdening and letting go.
Let go of your thoughts.
Listen. Listen.
I listened to the frogs, suddenly chirping louder. Tree repeated the instructions. My mind wandered to the events of the day. Then I thought about the people on this new land, the farm animals, our plants... The animals clearly have been responding to the distress they sense in the owner of the land, who seems at unease with the changes and clean-up now happening around her... Years of accumulation of garbage, moldy food bins, and general disarray being cleaned does not sit well with her for some currently unknown reason. Her sheep keep escaping their pen in rebellion.
When my mind rested with the sheep a bit longer, I heard the slither of a snake nearby. I felt momentary fear -- like I was confronted by POWER. And then I quickly remembered who snake is for me -- a representative of the Great Feminine (the water version being the Makara, both of whom came to me in dreamtime as the Great Feminine years ago). And in these moments I asked/realized that this is what is missing and needing healing on the land.
I heard snake speak... What is misssssing here on the land? Think of the feminine -- that which is needing represssssentation here.
I thought of the owner who feels more like broken masculine energy to me rather than feminine. I thought of the other women/family who also live here on the land -- who either carry some form of brokenness or over-compensation for the brokenness around them, or both.
Snake said, You musssst root, ground and centre here as a strong repressssentative of the Great Feminine. You mussssst be that force for the land.
I suddenly felt daunted, humbled, uncertain, and yet simultaneously empowered by this tasking to me...
I have begun to walk and explore the land. We do not yet know where we will put up the yurt, after we have finished repairs. I have walked to the edge of the escarpments -- the view of the neighbouring mountain is so peaceful. I do not know if I will be able to find a path down into the valley between this escarpment and the mountain -- I will try when I can to find one. The two forested areas are so distinctly different. One forest is on a slope -- the trees are so tall! It is the forest through which we walk to get to the open peat-bog fields full of canary reed grass that will eventually become our gardens.
The second forest is on the far edge of the property -- it is rarely walked, if ever, by any of the inhabitants of the land. The bases of the trees are so large, and the walk into the heart of this forest takes one through patches of skunk cabbage, moss and forest-edge plants. As I walk this second forest I feel transported into a protected mystical place with low-hanging branches, owls and owl pellets, gnarled roots and fallen logs. This, I decide, is where I will take apprentices and clients.
April 15, 2017
I am in the jungle. We are at a pond. There are many women indigenous to this place bathing in the water, and I am standing at the edge of the water. A few elder women are trying to teach me how to use poisonous darts. In front of me, wrapped tight in a blanket and as pale as the moon floats a young woman. She wants to die. She wants me to shoot a dart into her. I ask her to wait. I tell her that if she must go through with it, to please, at least, do it as ceremony/ rite of passage.I awaken and know that one of my young clients is probably needing support. I send a message to her mother, and it is confirmed that she is detoxing off heroine, this being the worst day of her symptoms. And I understand the dream... I immediately know that I need to make a medicine tool for her, and I also know that whatever it is supposed to be will come when the time is ripe.
Then, I am standing in front of our new home -- a wooden round house, like our yurt, only with two stories. It is nestled in the jungle, with a tall, 10 foot high fence surrounding it, except in the south, which is open as the front entrance. I walk inside. The first floor has two fire pits to heat and dry the place, and to cook on -- this floor is our living space. The second floor has one central fire and is open and spacious. Light pours in from a central opening. This floor is for healing and ceremony. It is very important that the house, fires and fence are specifically aligned to honour and work with the elementals.
I create a small medicine bundle, and tie it to a tree in the back forest of this new place, near the spot I have chosen for my apprentice/ client work. In it I have written:
Mother, please accept me as student and servant/ keeper in this place. Please teach me your medicine and wisdom, and show me what is next in this journey.
This great leaning tree has a small pool of water on one side of its base. It is as if the tree is leaning over and gazing at itself. Reflection Tree.
I speak my prayer aloud to Reflection Tree.
He replies: Give and be given to... Bring your energy to the land. Make offerings to us. Honour the land, and it will give back to you. Earn the Teachings.
April 21, 2017
We have been living in a tiny cabin, 10x14 feet in size, on the property. One room. No kitchen -- just a makeshift space where we cook. A cord strung from the barn for electricity. We eat sitting on the bed. We are waiting for the rains to slow or end so that we can begin repair work on the yurt. For now, this is home. Used to homesteading and living off-grid, this is not much different than the 6 months we spent living in a tent when we were learning to build the foundation and floor for the yurt 2 years ago.
I visit the large tree outside the cabin at night. The peeper frogs are almost deafeningly loud. My husband and I have been butting heads -- it has been an incredibly challenging few months, and we have landed into a new space that requires intensive cleaning (the land has been neglected for several years), and we are not in our own home. It is not surprising we are edgy right now.
Tree says, There will never be "win" with him. I felt sadness upon hearing this. Because there will never be a "win", you need to just focus on being happy -- it is the key to your well-being. Why do you try to squish yourself into some perceived box? Do what makes you happy -- relax, be at peace -- and watch what happens to your work, your well-being, your relationship...
May 2, 2017
I am speaking with the Tree near the cabin... Two owls are shrieking at one another in the background, bats are flying and making their mating call, the trees of the forest tower all around me in the darkness of the night.
I ask Tree, "What of my apprenticeship here in this new place?"
Tree replies: Let go of all you know, and all you don't know. Empty of it all. Make your roots, make your home, the Teachings will come. Spend time with the land and trees here. Learn from the forest and you will understand why you are here. Empty your heart.
I felt an unburdening and letting go.
Let go of your thoughts.
Listen. Listen.
I listened to the frogs, suddenly chirping louder. Tree repeated the instructions. My mind wandered to the events of the day. Then I thought about the people on this new land, the farm animals, our plants... The animals clearly have been responding to the distress they sense in the owner of the land, who seems at unease with the changes and clean-up now happening around her... Years of accumulation of garbage, moldy food bins, and general disarray being cleaned does not sit well with her for some currently unknown reason. Her sheep keep escaping their pen in rebellion.
When my mind rested with the sheep a bit longer, I heard the slither of a snake nearby. I felt momentary fear -- like I was confronted by POWER. And then I quickly remembered who snake is for me -- a representative of the Great Feminine (the water version being the Makara, both of whom came to me in dreamtime as the Great Feminine years ago). And in these moments I asked/realized that this is what is missing and needing healing on the land.
I heard snake speak... What is misssssing here on the land? Think of the feminine -- that which is needing represssssentation here.
I thought of the owner who feels more like broken masculine energy to me rather than feminine. I thought of the other women/family who also live here on the land -- who either carry some form of brokenness or over-compensation for the brokenness around them, or both.
Snake said, You musssst root, ground and centre here as a strong repressssentative of the Great Feminine. You mussssst be that force for the land.
I suddenly felt daunted, humbled, uncertain, and yet simultaneously empowered by this tasking to me...
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