July 26, 2016
I sit in the quiet of the room. No one has come to class this night. I decide to sit in meditation...
The question arises in my mind, What of this work? There never seems to be enough time for EVERYTHING -- from homesteading to producing medicine bags to being in medicine on the land... A true dedication and re-organization is needed. Where do I start?
Drop deeper child, drop deeper... The Great Mother's voice rings in my ears.
You are birthing your elder-self and need to dedicate to this journey.
Sept 20, 2016
For my 48th birthday, almost a month ago, I set the following intentions:
Sept 25, 2016
I have been feeling a deep need to connect with the Teachers. I decide to visit Prayer Tree.
She speaks to me, before I even form a question: Bring your heart. The medicine is real. Be the medicine. This is your eldership initiation. Bring your heart to us. Be the medicine. Relax and be comfortable in yourself, your body. And, only adorn yourself in things of your own making.
I ask, "What of my work with clients and students?"
She says, Trust. Do as you do. Do what you do, and trust the unfolding.
In unison I begin to hear all the nearby trees speaking with her -- as if they had always been speaking in unison, bringing emphasis to her/ their message...
Trust. The answer is immanent, just around the corner. Watch for the signs, and do your work. You will be guided. It is within the realm of what you already do. Just more of it.
I asked if there were any other requests from her/ them.
Visit us often. Bring your heart. Connect with us, grow the connection, bring your heart and open in love to us/ for us. It will bring healing and deepening. It will help us, and help you in your quests. And, build an ovoo, and make offerings to it.
Sept 29, 2016
My grandson's 1st birthday! I go to the Prayer Tree and give thanks for his beautiful life. And then I address her/ them:
"I have completed the ovoo, and made first offerings (Paulo Santo, Buffalo Sage, and a small gifted piece of cottonwood tree from the Sundance Ceremony up-island). I connected with all the land I could sense and feel on the property as I made offerings."
They replied, Now make a prayer-bundle for the ovoo.
I was aware of my concerns -- a continual gnawing feeling that we will not be able to stay on this land. She responded, saying: Do your work -- deepen it, do more, and we will do the rest.
I felt a tingling warmth as if I were being embraced and touched by her/them. The wind blew more directly and I felt washed over by their assurance. "Thank you Mother" I offered, as I turned and began to walk away.
I am not done.
I returned to her.
Deepen your roots and grow/strengthen your foundation.
"Financially?" I asked.
Yes, but rather your inner roots and foundation. The one in you [spiritual core, connection to the land and Teachings]. Grow your roots and connect with ours. An image-feeling arose as she spoke -- of interconnected roots, and micellium -- all connected with my own energetic roots. And then fear arose -- what if I am uprooted from this place?
She felt this and responded: Do your work, grow your roots, connect to ours, and we will bring or draw that which is needed to help you to remain here in connection with us.
"Thank you Mother. Is that all?" I asked
She laughed. We could spend hours more, but yes, that is all. I trust you will return often and soon. She paused, and then, as a directive: Return often and soon. Do your work often and soon.
Oct. 7, 2016
I have been making daily offerings and had many conversations with Prayer Tree. It is time, she says, to make a clear plan. Bring it to us so we can support you.
Today she said much the same thing, and showed me a jumping spider, just at eye height when I had approached her. Make the leap! And go visit Prayer-Tie Tree. It is time.
I walked to Prayer-Tie Tree, and felt him encourage me under his canopy. I worked my way under the gnarled branches to an area where I could stand with ease, nestled amongst the hanging branches and tucked close to the trunk. The work you must do here is experiential. See, feel and know the land. Connect with the land and teachings of Nature. Be in ceremony -- let the things that you do be your offerings -- the farming and land care. Be healed by being in connection. Live the medicine and teachings experientially. Now, stand here, feel, and be.
As I stood, a small chickadee landed on a branch just in front of my face -- less than a foot away. It stayed for some time, chirped a few chirps, and then flew away. As it flew away, a rabbit came out of the nearby bush and was looking for greenery for food. Then a woodpecker landed about 10 feet away on an old fence post.
Prayer-Tie Tree spoke: Just breathe, feel and observe. Learn through being, absorbing and receiving. It is as simple as this. They accept you as one of them -- one with them -- Nature.
Then he challenged me: What are you willing to do to manifest this [staying on the land here]? What are you willing to give? Who are you willing to be? Are you willing to "grow up", stand in yourself, and commit without hesitation to Being your medicine?
He continued: Yes, make a plan, and do it with the awareness that whatever you create must be a healing, medicine path. Walk the land with awareness and see, feel and connect with the sacred places -- natural "temples" on the land. Make your prayer ties in these places, make offerings and recognition.
Oct. 18, 2016
I had emailed the local Medicine Woman-Elder of the tribes who belong originally to these lands. I have met with her in the past, and now I invite her to come walk the land, offer song and prayers for its healing. I keep feeling that the land needs to hear from one of those who it remembers... Even though I have done prayer and ceremony on this land since we arrived, even though it has spoken to me in waking and dreaming time, I feel like it needs to hear from one who will awaken its memory and some part of its spirit that has been lost over time and mis-use.
She walked the land with me. We started at the yurt. She stopped half-way to the barn and called/sang-out to the land. Her voice was piercing, unapologetic in its presence, and without any self-consciousness. My hair began to stand up on the back of my neck. My body tingled. The trees swayed.
We continued to walk, and she called/ sang-out at the barn, and again as we approached to old campsite. I asked her what her prayers are. She said her prayer is like the prayer I would have in my own heart-mind. She does not know what sounds will come from her mouth -- she just allows the sounds to come as an expression of the prayers she holds in her heart-mind.
When we arrived at the old campsite, I explained how truly sad I felt this place was. How devastated it had been by unconscious logging by the owner. Some of the trees had been old growth. Truly old beings.
She made great apologies to the land and trees, addressing them directly. She spoke her prayer aloud, so that I could also know her words: "We hope healing for the land, we are here to help the land, we hope the owner's mind will be set "right"... We are sorry for the loss of the trees -- we know that this apology is not enough, but please know the thought is there." She gave me some of her smudge-herbs for offerings. As I made my way around to various trees, she drummed on a tiny drum she had been carrying, and danced on the ground. Then, she gave me a great hug while she sang out. We were both teary.
At the wetlands, she said prayer for the wetlands, and also the shale and stone that had been deposited here -- our oldest relations who had been displaced from their original home. She wondered aloud -- "When the wetland is divided and destroyed by this road, where will the beavers and wetland animals go? Where will the water come from to feed the trees and the land? Does the owner not know or understand?" And I expressed this has been our deep concern all along...
And as we turned to walk back, we both felt the shift. The memory of the land was re-awakening. The land was breathing once again.
I sit in the quiet of the room. No one has come to class this night. I decide to sit in meditation...
The question arises in my mind, What of this work? There never seems to be enough time for EVERYTHING -- from homesteading to producing medicine bags to being in medicine on the land... A true dedication and re-organization is needed. Where do I start?
Drop deeper child, drop deeper... The Great Mother's voice rings in my ears.
You are birthing your elder-self and need to dedicate to this journey.
Sept 20, 2016
For my 48th birthday, almost a month ago, I set the following intentions:
- to spend time cultivating/ deepening my relationship in love and intimacy
- to spend time dedicated to self-care and body health
- to spend time cultivating my business and work
- to spend time feeding myself -- nourishing myself -- spiritually. Time with Plant Teachers, time in the forest, and daily offerings and ritual.
Sept 25, 2016
I have been feeling a deep need to connect with the Teachers. I decide to visit Prayer Tree.
She speaks to me, before I even form a question: Bring your heart. The medicine is real. Be the medicine. This is your eldership initiation. Bring your heart to us. Be the medicine. Relax and be comfortable in yourself, your body. And, only adorn yourself in things of your own making.
I ask, "What of my work with clients and students?"
She says, Trust. Do as you do. Do what you do, and trust the unfolding.
In unison I begin to hear all the nearby trees speaking with her -- as if they had always been speaking in unison, bringing emphasis to her/ their message...
Trust. The answer is immanent, just around the corner. Watch for the signs, and do your work. You will be guided. It is within the realm of what you already do. Just more of it.
I asked if there were any other requests from her/ them.
Visit us often. Bring your heart. Connect with us, grow the connection, bring your heart and open in love to us/ for us. It will bring healing and deepening. It will help us, and help you in your quests. And, build an ovoo, and make offerings to it.
Sept 29, 2016
My grandson's 1st birthday! I go to the Prayer Tree and give thanks for his beautiful life. And then I address her/ them:
"I have completed the ovoo, and made first offerings (Paulo Santo, Buffalo Sage, and a small gifted piece of cottonwood tree from the Sundance Ceremony up-island). I connected with all the land I could sense and feel on the property as I made offerings."
They replied, Now make a prayer-bundle for the ovoo.
I was aware of my concerns -- a continual gnawing feeling that we will not be able to stay on this land. She responded, saying: Do your work -- deepen it, do more, and we will do the rest.
I felt a tingling warmth as if I were being embraced and touched by her/them. The wind blew more directly and I felt washed over by their assurance. "Thank you Mother" I offered, as I turned and began to walk away.
I am not done.
I returned to her.
Deepen your roots and grow/strengthen your foundation.
"Financially?" I asked.
Yes, but rather your inner roots and foundation. The one in you [spiritual core, connection to the land and Teachings]. Grow your roots and connect with ours. An image-feeling arose as she spoke -- of interconnected roots, and micellium -- all connected with my own energetic roots. And then fear arose -- what if I am uprooted from this place?
She felt this and responded: Do your work, grow your roots, connect to ours, and we will bring or draw that which is needed to help you to remain here in connection with us.
"Thank you Mother. Is that all?" I asked
She laughed. We could spend hours more, but yes, that is all. I trust you will return often and soon. She paused, and then, as a directive: Return often and soon. Do your work often and soon.
Oct. 7, 2016
I have been making daily offerings and had many conversations with Prayer Tree. It is time, she says, to make a clear plan. Bring it to us so we can support you.
Today she said much the same thing, and showed me a jumping spider, just at eye height when I had approached her. Make the leap! And go visit Prayer-Tie Tree. It is time.
I walked to Prayer-Tie Tree, and felt him encourage me under his canopy. I worked my way under the gnarled branches to an area where I could stand with ease, nestled amongst the hanging branches and tucked close to the trunk. The work you must do here is experiential. See, feel and know the land. Connect with the land and teachings of Nature. Be in ceremony -- let the things that you do be your offerings -- the farming and land care. Be healed by being in connection. Live the medicine and teachings experientially. Now, stand here, feel, and be.
As I stood, a small chickadee landed on a branch just in front of my face -- less than a foot away. It stayed for some time, chirped a few chirps, and then flew away. As it flew away, a rabbit came out of the nearby bush and was looking for greenery for food. Then a woodpecker landed about 10 feet away on an old fence post.
Prayer-Tie Tree spoke: Just breathe, feel and observe. Learn through being, absorbing and receiving. It is as simple as this. They accept you as one of them -- one with them -- Nature.
Then he challenged me: What are you willing to do to manifest this [staying on the land here]? What are you willing to give? Who are you willing to be? Are you willing to "grow up", stand in yourself, and commit without hesitation to Being your medicine?
He continued: Yes, make a plan, and do it with the awareness that whatever you create must be a healing, medicine path. Walk the land with awareness and see, feel and connect with the sacred places -- natural "temples" on the land. Make your prayer ties in these places, make offerings and recognition.
Oct. 18, 2016
I had emailed the local Medicine Woman-Elder of the tribes who belong originally to these lands. I have met with her in the past, and now I invite her to come walk the land, offer song and prayers for its healing. I keep feeling that the land needs to hear from one of those who it remembers... Even though I have done prayer and ceremony on this land since we arrived, even though it has spoken to me in waking and dreaming time, I feel like it needs to hear from one who will awaken its memory and some part of its spirit that has been lost over time and mis-use.
She walked the land with me. We started at the yurt. She stopped half-way to the barn and called/sang-out to the land. Her voice was piercing, unapologetic in its presence, and without any self-consciousness. My hair began to stand up on the back of my neck. My body tingled. The trees swayed.
We continued to walk, and she called/ sang-out at the barn, and again as we approached to old campsite. I asked her what her prayers are. She said her prayer is like the prayer I would have in my own heart-mind. She does not know what sounds will come from her mouth -- she just allows the sounds to come as an expression of the prayers she holds in her heart-mind.
When we arrived at the old campsite, I explained how truly sad I felt this place was. How devastated it had been by unconscious logging by the owner. Some of the trees had been old growth. Truly old beings.
She made great apologies to the land and trees, addressing them directly. She spoke her prayer aloud, so that I could also know her words: "We hope healing for the land, we are here to help the land, we hope the owner's mind will be set "right"... We are sorry for the loss of the trees -- we know that this apology is not enough, but please know the thought is there." She gave me some of her smudge-herbs for offerings. As I made my way around to various trees, she drummed on a tiny drum she had been carrying, and danced on the ground. Then, she gave me a great hug while she sang out. We were both teary.
At the wetlands, she said prayer for the wetlands, and also the shale and stone that had been deposited here -- our oldest relations who had been displaced from their original home. She wondered aloud -- "When the wetland is divided and destroyed by this road, where will the beavers and wetland animals go? Where will the water come from to feed the trees and the land? Does the owner not know or understand?" And I expressed this has been our deep concern all along...
And as we turned to walk back, we both felt the shift. The memory of the land was re-awakening. The land was breathing once again.
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