Aug 22nd, 2012
Two weeks of travel – opportunities to connect with nature in the midst of family and business were few and far between.
Having returned home 2 days ago, I am finally finding my way to the Sacred Grove. As I walk toward the Grove and catch my first glimpse of it ahead, my heart leaps and a smile forms on my lips. Ahhh, home...
Seeds of the Dark Mother, carefully wrapped in a cotton cloth and tied with string, rest in my hand. Dark Ma's seed pods opened while I was away. There must be 100 seeds or more, and I have collected most of them in a small box. Five seeds were planted in the same large pot as Dark Ma, one seed in the small side-garden where I make my morning water- and prayer-offerings, and now – these...
After placing the seed package at the base of Root Ma, under a small log from which she emerges, I make formal offerings, and ask, "Dark Mother, may I ingest all experience and know it as medicine."
In my heart, I hear her reply, "Clear-heart seeing is needed to know the medicine."
I present myself to Guardian Ma and ask for guidance. I feel my simultaneous deep need for alone-time in which to nourish myself and explore these teachings, as well as my longing for companionship.
“You are at a cross-roads,” Guardian Ma offers. “Now more than ever you will need to define yourself. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Where are you going in life?"
"What if I let go of the longing for companionship?" I ask.
"It is only change," she replies, simply.
"What if I let go and come to a place of integrity?" I ask, more to myself than to her.
She replies, and I realise she listens to all of my inner chatter.
"Do you feel out of integrity?"
"In the moment that I am in heart connection with another, no. But in the bigger picture of the future, I wonder what will serve me better? To seek companionship or to be alone?"
Her reply is clear and crisp.
"You are projecting to something that is beyond yourself and this moment. Something that does not exist."
"Yes, but how else do I make room for a possible relationship or companionship?" My underlying question was one of making open space and setting a vision or intention.
Ma sighs and then replies, "Is that what you really want? Think carefully. Look honestly. Is that what you really want? Anything is possible. You do not need to limit yourself. Even in these matters. You can have one companion, or no companions, or even two companions if you choose. What do you want, in your heart?"
I pause, feeling my heart.
"I don't know."
Ma counsels, "Do not be so hasty to make a decision. Allow the play of life to unfold. Neither attached to one direction nor the other. Open heart. Let go of the agenda. What is given right now in your life is a gift. Ask Dark Ma "What is the medicine of this time and situation?" "
Holding onto Root Ma, I intend a connection to Dark Ma through the seeds at her base. Many whispers of voices, blurry, begin moving through my inner ear – my head begins to vibrate and I feel in disarray. And then, as if emerging from a thunder cloud, something becomes clear...
"Be strong in yourself," she says.
"Ingest the experiences fully. Right now you reject parts of yourself and the situations that face you. How can you know their medicine if you do not ingest them? See circumstances fully as they are. Be clear – no story. Clear heart seeing. Then ingest, all of it. And wait to know the results. You will know, you will know."
Two weeks of travel – opportunities to connect with nature in the midst of family and business were few and far between.
Having returned home 2 days ago, I am finally finding my way to the Sacred Grove. As I walk toward the Grove and catch my first glimpse of it ahead, my heart leaps and a smile forms on my lips. Ahhh, home...
Seeds of the Dark Mother, carefully wrapped in a cotton cloth and tied with string, rest in my hand. Dark Ma's seed pods opened while I was away. There must be 100 seeds or more, and I have collected most of them in a small box. Five seeds were planted in the same large pot as Dark Ma, one seed in the small side-garden where I make my morning water- and prayer-offerings, and now – these...
After placing the seed package at the base of Root Ma, under a small log from which she emerges, I make formal offerings, and ask, "Dark Mother, may I ingest all experience and know it as medicine."
In my heart, I hear her reply, "Clear-heart seeing is needed to know the medicine."
I present myself to Guardian Ma and ask for guidance. I feel my simultaneous deep need for alone-time in which to nourish myself and explore these teachings, as well as my longing for companionship.
“You are at a cross-roads,” Guardian Ma offers. “Now more than ever you will need to define yourself. Who are you? Who do you want to be? Where are you going in life?"
"What if I let go of the longing for companionship?" I ask.
"It is only change," she replies, simply.
"What if I let go and come to a place of integrity?" I ask, more to myself than to her.
She replies, and I realise she listens to all of my inner chatter.
"Do you feel out of integrity?"
"In the moment that I am in heart connection with another, no. But in the bigger picture of the future, I wonder what will serve me better? To seek companionship or to be alone?"
Her reply is clear and crisp.
"You are projecting to something that is beyond yourself and this moment. Something that does not exist."
"Yes, but how else do I make room for a possible relationship or companionship?" My underlying question was one of making open space and setting a vision or intention.
Ma sighs and then replies, "Is that what you really want? Think carefully. Look honestly. Is that what you really want? Anything is possible. You do not need to limit yourself. Even in these matters. You can have one companion, or no companions, or even two companions if you choose. What do you want, in your heart?"
I pause, feeling my heart.
"I don't know."
Ma counsels, "Do not be so hasty to make a decision. Allow the play of life to unfold. Neither attached to one direction nor the other. Open heart. Let go of the agenda. What is given right now in your life is a gift. Ask Dark Ma "What is the medicine of this time and situation?" "
Holding onto Root Ma, I intend a connection to Dark Ma through the seeds at her base. Many whispers of voices, blurry, begin moving through my inner ear – my head begins to vibrate and I feel in disarray. And then, as if emerging from a thunder cloud, something becomes clear...
"Be strong in yourself," she says.
"Ingest the experiences fully. Right now you reject parts of yourself and the situations that face you. How can you know their medicine if you do not ingest them? See circumstances fully as they are. Be clear – no story. Clear heart seeing. Then ingest, all of it. And wait to know the results. You will know, you will know."
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