Crow Molfar and his lover, the Great Mother

Mar 4th, 2013

My heart an open wound, I walk up the main path, returning to Forest Ma as promised.

I pause to make offerings at what remains of the Guardian, and notice yet another Arbutus that was needlessly hacked – at least 15 feet from the path perimeter.  Reaching for a remnant of branch on the ground, I know it represents the changes we need to make. I want to honour these friends in some way… By the time I reach Forest Ma, I sense it would be healing and honouring to make a shrine in tribute to the medicines of this place, somewhere near Ancient Grandmother and Grandfather Trees.

Reaching out in cautious hesitancy, I touch Forest Ma.  She feels sad, yet calmer today. I sit in quiet with her, remembering her message of the new energy DNA.  She stirs...

"You must give the message, that we are all inter-related. We are all relations.  Only when all of you understand, feel and know will you awaken. Your job starts now."
"Is there anything else you would like me to convey, Mother?" I ask.

"You represent our voice. Be our voice. We rely on you. We trust you.
You must embody this in every part of you. There is no shame in being who you are. Trust this. Trust us. Now go."
She offers a dead branch of herself.  Nearby, I find branches of Fir, Cedar, Salaal, and walk to a rotten stump near the Ancient Ones. Planting the branches in the base of the rotting wood, I affirm this as representation of all the plants who died or were injured. May this serve as a reminder of them and their medicines.

I leave offerings, and as I walk away, a strong wind begins to blow in the tree tops.

Steps away, I lay a hand on Grandfather.

"Grandfather, you have lived through and seen so much imposed by my kind. Please take my prayers in the winds to the forests and across the waters and oceans. I pray we will at least learn to come with respect and prayer and cut only what is needed in the most respectful ways..."

"There are those of your kind we do not trust, will not trust, and nor should you. They destroy this world senselessly. We know you are a single voice, you do what you can from the goodness of your heart. Reach out with your best, trust all good will come."

A beam of sunlight strikes the ground next to me. I feel his words affirmed.

Walking to Grandmother Tree, I lean my body into hers, and feel the embrace of the deep earth through her.

"Let others you work with love us – bring them to feel and know us, sit with us, observe our fullness," she says.

In the next moment, I feel her opening my heart and pouring feelings into it.  “Oh, Grandmother, I do not know if I will be able to fully put into words what you want us to feel.”  An absolute intertwining of life – no separation – suffuses me. Each plant, bird, patch of earth, worm, insect, piece of moss, mushroom – I feel them all.  There is no separation. A wholeness. One body.  One heart.  Myself within it.  “It is not a mere concept – it is an experience,” I say out loud.

“Child, this is what you – all of you – must come to know – within every fibre of your being.  You are within Gaia, you are One with her and All. No separation.”

I look around once again at the mangled plants.

Grandmother assures me, "The loss is minimal in the greater scheme of this forest, and yet it is a significant representation of the relationship and lack of understanding and knowledge of this Oneness. And it is this we want conveyed as message, as teaching."

 
Mar 7th, 2013

I am filled with disquieted and challenging energy.  My dreams in the night provoked feelings of being separated from myself.

Go to the forest. Seek insight with the teachers.  Walking up the hills, I contemplate how quickly I abandon myself and my needs for the perceived needs of others. Raven caaws a deep throaty call. My attention diverts, and all becomes quiet around me. As my mind wanders back to affirming time to nourish in the forest, Raven begins to call again.

Entering the passage between the Sacred and Deeper Groves, I stop to sit with Fairy Ma. Her many twirled vines are a mix of young and old. She is delicately twined amongst three companion trees, draping herself primarily on one Arbutus.

I make formal offerings, and bring to her the feelings of my heart.

"You must be centred in yourself and your ways at all times. Thoroughly, completely drenched in who you are. Remember who you are at all times."

I contemplate alone time here, and remember who I am. Raven begins to call in the background.

"Fairy Ma, is there any other message?" I ask.

"Come to me when the child within wants to play. Now, go to your Teacher." Her energy is light, with an undertone of strength.

I walk to the Deeper Grove and approach Heart Ma – I am about to gift her hair and tobacco. She stops me, saying, "That is for the Crow Molfar."

An image of smoke arises, and so I light a small obkuryuvannya, and offer her the earthy fragrant sage smoke.

I feel the jumble in my heart, my ease of distraction, and my contracted energy.

"Take up heart space in your home. The comings and goings of others in their hearts are not a reflection on you."

"Do you have guidance for this transition?" I ask.

She turns my attention back to my heart.
"I am the teacher of your heart. You come to me to know about your heart."

Ravens fly overhead.
"You must journey with your Father Teacher for his teachings. He returns for you – know this is a great honour and privilege. He waits for you."

My heart turns back to her.  "I am here, Mother, for teachings on my heart. What can you offer, and what may I offer in return?"

"Offer your heart, fully, to the teachings. That is all. That is enough.
This is your teaching for today. Make your offerings to the Father and be on your way."

"Is there anything else I can offer?"
She replies lovingly and sternly, "I want your heart. We want your heart."

I place the offerings of hair and sacred plant on the stump nearby and ask how I might connect to Crow Molfar. I hear a far-off whisper in my heart from him.

"Journey to me tonight."


~*~

I am in my room, sitting on my bed.  It is late.  I decide to journey to the Deeper Grove to meet Crow Molfar, as he requested.  Closing my eyes, I see the Grove in my inner eye. 

Greeting friends along the way, I arrive at Heart Ma.  She does not greet me.  Rather, she simply says, "Turn around."

Crow Molfar stands before me – large and cloaked in dark feathers.  I do not see his face. He reaches out and grabs me – it almost feels aggressive.  I am hidden under his wing/ cloak and cannot see anything.

I ask him, "Why are you being so gruff?"

"Look back," he says.

I cannot see anything.

"Look with your heart."

I perceive something where I had been standing next to Heart Ma – it feels like distorted energy.

He speaks to my perception, "It is a Dark Molfar, the one who comes in your dreams and tries to steal your energy and life-force.  The one who tries to trick you with dreamscapes that mimick reality.  The one who plays on your fears and makes you paralysed. The one who has tried this since you were a young child."  And I remember being 3 years old, and having an earie "dream" in grey and sickly green colour comes to mind. I am in my bed, and arms reach up from the underworld, through my bed to hold and capture me. My body is paralysed.  This experience has always stayed with me.

I ask Crow Molfar, “Where are we going?”

"That depends on you," he replies.  "Right now, we simply go away so I can protect you."

I have a sense of being held, embraced and enveloped in protection.

"I want to journey to understand these spots of eczema that have been with me for many months now.  I know they are more than a physical illness.  I know they are a spiritual illness.  I want to understand."

The imagery shifts – Crow Molfar has brought me to the Land of Snow.  It is cold.  We are in a forest, and it is night.  The trees are neither thick nor sparse.  There is a sense of deep quiet and peace in this place.  We walk to a small yurt-like cabin and are greeted by a woman – a Vidma – whom he clearly knows.  They have a warmth and closeness that can be observed, even without words passing between them.

My mid-back is aching, at the back of my heart.  I shift positions to get comfortable as I continue to journey.

The Vidma comes to me and places a wet poultice of bright green leaves on my spots.  The leaves give me the impression of spinach or sorrel.  I am uncertain, though, what they actually are.  I momentarily think of spring or summer and wonder if I will be able to identify the leaves.

My back pain gets stronger, and I try folding forward.  The pain does not diminish.

Understanding my thoughts she says, "We need to be here in winter because heat is not good for the spots."

My back is very achy now, and I grow sleepy. Somewhere in the haze of tiredness I realise that the pain is not physical – it is actually directly related to the spots.  Protection and armoring of my heart – the pain at the back-door of my heart – is directly related to the eczema situated on my right collar bone, between my heart and throat.

I grow too sleepy and slip momentarily into dreamtime – jerking awake, I decide to end the journey and lay myself to rest for the night.


Mar 8th, 2013

Upon awakening, I decide to sit up quietly in bed and re-enter the journey. 

I walk to the Deeper Grove and, this time, situate myself at the tree stump which has become my physical "location" for honouring the Crow Molfar.

"You will not find me here," he whispers.  "See with your heart."

I open my heart, walk to Heart Ma, and then to the Coiled Ones.  Each location, Crow Molfar momentarily appears, and then disappears.  Scenes become erratic and jumping. 

Then, he appears at the boulder in the ravine, and there he shape-shifts into a Raven.  I stand beside the boulder.

"Fly with me," he directs more than asks.

I hold on and we begin to climb through the air.

"You can fly,” he says. “Try."

And so I fly beside him as if it was always a part of my nature.  We climb into the clouds side-by-side.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"To the Land of Dreams," he replies.

We arrive in a thicket of shrubs and trees, very overgrown.  Imagery wavers.

He reminds me, "See with your heart, not your mind."

I try again and find myself inside an old hut.  The walls are no longer strong, but rather falling away.

I realise it is the Vidma's hut from the previous night.  Time is fluid…  She has passed away.  I wonder how it is that in the Land of Snow, both she and the Crow Molfar are young, vital and I can interact with them, and yet here, all that remains are remnants of her life – yet he is still with me.

"I have returned for you, child.  I am calling on my strength to guide you," he says.

I remember the poultice she had applied.

He instructs me, "Look with your heart, you are here to learn her medicine.  She has left a book of teachings.  You are here to learn her medicines through your body and being.  This is partly why you have manifested this illness. So that you may learn."

I walk to a table in a nook in the far corner of the cabin, near the kitchen window.  I find the book and open it.  It is not a book to "read," but rather a book to learn from directly – something that imparts knowledge directly to the reader, by-passing the need to read.  As I turn the page, the image of the poultice and various plants play across my mind's eye.  And an understood message...

I am to go to the forest – she, the Vidma, is the Wisdom of the Mother, woven into the forest.  They – she – will teach me.  Whatever ails my spirit, my body – she will teach me her ways.  She is the voice of the Great Mother coming through individual plants, trees, and the forest as a whole.

I sense a shrine must be outside the cabin – a place she made offerings daily.  Leaving the cabin, I find a humble shrine, and am given the image of a large lone tree in a massive set of fields, where once stood a luscious forest, and where she had laid her body down to rest for the final time.

Crow Molfar speaks.  "Your task is to revive and learn our ways, both mine and hers – and bring this knowledge back to others...  The knowledge of relationship with the spirits, the land, the medicines, and Nature.  And you are to start with your own ailment, your own body and spirit.  This is your task."