Feb 16th, 2013
Upon awakening, allowing the images and feelings to have
space in my heart and mind, I spend time re-braiding my hair. The 4 small
braids I wear as part of my apprenticeship are reminders of my relationships to
the spirits of this land, and the intentions I braid into them. As my hair
grows, I re-braid every 2-4 weeks.
These coming months will be a period of great transition. As I plait the strands of hair, words and feelings weave themselves into the braids. Aligned living… Full presence to my heart values. Passions and purpose... Standing in my centre… Healing in all relations… Love that lives in and gives freedom...
Launching into my day, I am still receiving prayers from the community for the Fires tonight. Some request to know the time of the Fire so they may hold simultaneous presence and prayers. And then I receive a phone call...
A student in a puddle of distraught tears. A house fire in the early morning dreaming hours claimed the lives of 2 young people (one from our college community), and a third is in critical condition. My student and her house mates had been at the same gathering the night before, only hours before the fire.
My heart grows heavy... The Prayer Fires will be all the more poignant tonight.
~~
At 7pm, I gather a basketful of offerings for the Fire along with supplies and written prayers of others for the burning.
The winds are gusty and restless, carrying messages from the land and spirits. As I light the fire at 8pm, I offer my voice in song to the elementals and spirits. The winds gust in acknowledgment of ceremony.
The Fire flares in the wind, and I begin to feed offerings to it with prayers to the spirits of this land. Please help carry the prayers of the peoples to the Fires and beyond.
Flames were powerful and strong, dancing and flaring into the sky. My hair singed slightly at one point. “Remember, child, be respectful of the power of Fire.”
I hear an animal – probably racoon – descend from a nearby tree. As I make prayers for those who died and were injured earlier today, the winds gust again, carrying ash to spread over the land, as well as over the remaining offerings still on the ground.
A spark lights the obkuryuvanya, and it is becomes clear this is to be fed entirely to the Fire. Having reached the time for my personal prayers, the obkuryuvanya is given for this purpose.
May there be healing for Gaia – in the midst of all her own tragic losses. Loss of protection for her waters, land and inhabitants – losses we all feel and are affected by. May the hearts of those who create policies, those who impose destruction, and those who do not feel their connection within Nature be awakened and healed. May they find their place within this One Earth.
May there be healing for my own heart – may I offer true and deep love to myself and others. May I find healing in myself and with those whom I am closest to. As I navigate this time of transition, may I be nourished and held.
I begin to tidy. With the flames dying down, I feel unsettled. I sit with the remaining small lick of flames and breathe the cool night air, feeling the breeze caress my skin. As I look at the trees and sky, I pray for the souls of the students. May they find freedom and peace in this journey of crossing-over. Something releases in my heart, and the Fire dies into embers. Clear space. I return to the house and moments later receive a text that the third victim had died of her burns in hospital a few hours earlier.
Feb 17th, 2013
Standing in the Counsel of Trees, I hold 3 feathers. An empty nest sits on the ground next to One Root Many Paths, and I place the feathers carefully within. May these souls know freedom.
Approaching Many Roots One Path, I feel called to spend time in her presence. “Mother, my heart has stickiness – fear. I am a bit nervous though also excited for the transition. I know I am supported by you, by all of the Teachers. Yet, I am concerned about getting caught in the tangles of my heart – my own attachments and fears. I am afraid I will not hold myself in respect – I will not fill my inner space adequately, and then I will lose myself.”
"Your roots are strong," she says. "Live from and be your pure heart. That's all that's needed."
"What is the medicine when I struggle in my friendships and relationships?" I ask.
She replies in an image of roots spreading across the ground. "Spread outward to community, not inward. This is potent medicine when you are challenged by others. Your personal-haven is inward. Going inward is for yourself, when you struggle against yourself. Now, go, find another Ma to consult."
I walk back to One Root Many Paths, settling into my heart to feel the various levels of turmoil. My mind wanders to a friend who had sent a prayer yesterday for healing – it is a time of great pain between she and her husband. They may be parting paths, and she knows that I understand her pain. My mind traverses the many relationship stories I have personally lived, and the many ways I have been in relationship – with myself, my close ones, my friends...
I remember an article I read – the path of the lone wolf as a metaphor for our walk with earth medicine. Across the world and across time, those that are dedicated to the work of Spirit walk a difficult path between two (or more) worlds. Those that love them must be strong in spirit, for while the medicine keepers can be deeply loving, committed partners, their relationship to Spirit is deeper, stronger, and often takes precedence.
I wear the tattoo of a wolf-face on my left shoulder blade. It was tattooed in my mid-20's, after making self-declarations to follow the medicine path. The article had strong resonance with me.
I feel into my heart. What is my greatest longing? Is it truly for committed love? Knowing myself as I do, would I actually thrive if I was in a relationship? Maybe my path is the commitment to Spirit, as I have continually deepened it in my life… Or, perhaps relationship will be found with someone who will love and support me and my life-work?
One Root speaks... "This is your medicine right now, child." Ravens call to each other in the distance. I feel a healing liquid-warmth melt over and through my heart.
"Search your heart child. You will know what's needed, and when it's needed."
Adolescent boys run their feet
raw... When they arrive in my backyard, together we find small animals
whom we feed. The animals transform into lions who take residence in the
yard. Images of transitions in home and work begin to float through the
dreamscape, amongst the trees and lions.
I move to the open living room-studio space in the house. A garden grows
through the floor. Fledgling birds – a male-female pair – flutter on a tree in this
inner garden – tender and vulnerable, yet beautiful, wild, innocent. A feeling of strength threads through the dream
realm.
These coming months will be a period of great transition. As I plait the strands of hair, words and feelings weave themselves into the braids. Aligned living… Full presence to my heart values. Passions and purpose... Standing in my centre… Healing in all relations… Love that lives in and gives freedom...
Launching into my day, I am still receiving prayers from the community for the Fires tonight. Some request to know the time of the Fire so they may hold simultaneous presence and prayers. And then I receive a phone call...
A student in a puddle of distraught tears. A house fire in the early morning dreaming hours claimed the lives of 2 young people (one from our college community), and a third is in critical condition. My student and her house mates had been at the same gathering the night before, only hours before the fire.
My heart grows heavy... The Prayer Fires will be all the more poignant tonight.
~~
At 7pm, I gather a basketful of offerings for the Fire along with supplies and written prayers of others for the burning.
The winds are gusty and restless, carrying messages from the land and spirits. As I light the fire at 8pm, I offer my voice in song to the elementals and spirits. The winds gust in acknowledgment of ceremony.
The Fire flares in the wind, and I begin to feed offerings to it with prayers to the spirits of this land. Please help carry the prayers of the peoples to the Fires and beyond.
Flames were powerful and strong, dancing and flaring into the sky. My hair singed slightly at one point. “Remember, child, be respectful of the power of Fire.”
I hear an animal – probably racoon – descend from a nearby tree. As I make prayers for those who died and were injured earlier today, the winds gust again, carrying ash to spread over the land, as well as over the remaining offerings still on the ground.
A spark lights the obkuryuvanya, and it is becomes clear this is to be fed entirely to the Fire. Having reached the time for my personal prayers, the obkuryuvanya is given for this purpose.
May there be healing for Gaia – in the midst of all her own tragic losses. Loss of protection for her waters, land and inhabitants – losses we all feel and are affected by. May the hearts of those who create policies, those who impose destruction, and those who do not feel their connection within Nature be awakened and healed. May they find their place within this One Earth.
May there be healing for my own heart – may I offer true and deep love to myself and others. May I find healing in myself and with those whom I am closest to. As I navigate this time of transition, may I be nourished and held.
I begin to tidy. With the flames dying down, I feel unsettled. I sit with the remaining small lick of flames and breathe the cool night air, feeling the breeze caress my skin. As I look at the trees and sky, I pray for the souls of the students. May they find freedom and peace in this journey of crossing-over. Something releases in my heart, and the Fire dies into embers. Clear space. I return to the house and moments later receive a text that the third victim had died of her burns in hospital a few hours earlier.
Feb 17th, 2013
Standing in the Counsel of Trees, I hold 3 feathers. An empty nest sits on the ground next to One Root Many Paths, and I place the feathers carefully within. May these souls know freedom.
Approaching Many Roots One Path, I feel called to spend time in her presence. “Mother, my heart has stickiness – fear. I am a bit nervous though also excited for the transition. I know I am supported by you, by all of the Teachers. Yet, I am concerned about getting caught in the tangles of my heart – my own attachments and fears. I am afraid I will not hold myself in respect – I will not fill my inner space adequately, and then I will lose myself.”
"Your roots are strong," she says. "Live from and be your pure heart. That's all that's needed."
"What is the medicine when I struggle in my friendships and relationships?" I ask.
She replies in an image of roots spreading across the ground. "Spread outward to community, not inward. This is potent medicine when you are challenged by others. Your personal-haven is inward. Going inward is for yourself, when you struggle against yourself. Now, go, find another Ma to consult."
I walk back to One Root Many Paths, settling into my heart to feel the various levels of turmoil. My mind wanders to a friend who had sent a prayer yesterday for healing – it is a time of great pain between she and her husband. They may be parting paths, and she knows that I understand her pain. My mind traverses the many relationship stories I have personally lived, and the many ways I have been in relationship – with myself, my close ones, my friends...
I remember an article I read – the path of the lone wolf as a metaphor for our walk with earth medicine. Across the world and across time, those that are dedicated to the work of Spirit walk a difficult path between two (or more) worlds. Those that love them must be strong in spirit, for while the medicine keepers can be deeply loving, committed partners, their relationship to Spirit is deeper, stronger, and often takes precedence.
I wear the tattoo of a wolf-face on my left shoulder blade. It was tattooed in my mid-20's, after making self-declarations to follow the medicine path. The article had strong resonance with me.
I feel into my heart. What is my greatest longing? Is it truly for committed love? Knowing myself as I do, would I actually thrive if I was in a relationship? Maybe my path is the commitment to Spirit, as I have continually deepened it in my life… Or, perhaps relationship will be found with someone who will love and support me and my life-work?
One Root speaks... "This is your medicine right now, child." Ravens call to each other in the distance. I feel a healing liquid-warmth melt over and through my heart.
"Search your heart child. You will know what's needed, and when it's needed."
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